Minions (2015) /Transcript

Transcript
[It all starts with a screensaver where the Minions sing]

[then begins with 2D, where we are shown how they were born then, many minions swimming and coming out of the ocean, Next with 3D]

The Man Behind the Scenes: Minions. Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have. They go by many names. Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike. Oh, that one is Norbert. He's an idiot. They're all different, but they all share the same goal. To serve the most despicable master they could find. Making their master happy was the tribe's very reason for existence. But that's not to say that they didn't have other passions.

Finding a boss was easy. But keeping a boss, therein lies the rub.

Nope, it wasn't easy for these guys.

But they never gave up.

With the emergence of the Stone Age came the rise of a new species.

Man was very different from the dinosaur.

He was shorter, hairier, and way, way smarter.

The Minions took an instant liking to man, and helped him the best they could.

Poor man. So trusting, so fragile. So, so delicious!

Their quest for a boss put the Minions front and center for some of civilization's most historic moments.

Ancient Egypt held great promise.

But it didn't last long.

The Dark Ages were actually fun times.

Their new master had a tendency to party all night and sleep all day.

But eventually, the party was over.

They bounced from one evil boss to another, but they never seemed to find their perfect fit.

One particular employer took their failure very, very badly.

The Minions had no other choice but to keep moving.

And then, when all hope seemed lost, they found sanctuary.

The Minions were safe!

Years passed as the Minions forged their own civilization.

They truly made a life for themselves. But something just wasn't right. They felt empty inside. Without a master, they had no purpose. They became aimless and depressed.

If this continued any longer, the Minions would perish.

But all was not lost for one Minion had a plan.

His name was Kevin.

He was excited to share his idea with the tribe.

He'd been preparing for days, weeks, months.

But now he was ready.

Kevin would leave the cave... ...go back to the outside world, and he would not return until he had found his tribe the biggest, baddest villain to serve.

But he needed help.

[Bob wants to join him]

Bob was eager to go, but Kevin felt he was just not strong enough for the dangerous journey ahead.

[Kevin refuses, he calls for another minion, Bob continues to ask for a bullet. One of the minions picks up Stuart's hyatra.]

Luckily, someone stepped up.

[Kevin takes Stuart]

Truth be told, Stuart had no idea what he was chosen for... ...but was thrilled it made people cheer for him.

[Stewart begins to play his guitar, but Kevin out of the way, asks for another minion, but Bob proves that he is not weak, but strong, lifting a heavy chunk of ice. At first, Kevin did not understand, but Bob complains, and then he accepts.]

Eventually, Bob's energy and enthusiasm, but mostly lack of other volunteers, changed Kevin's mind.

The tribe said their farewells. Kevin had given them something they hadn't had in a very long time. Hope.

[Bob forgives each of them. And they leave the cave.]

Kevin felt pride.

He was going to be the one to save his tribe.

Stuart felt hungry mostly. He was going to be the one to eat this banana.

And Bob... Bob was frightened of the journey ahead..

[Kevin explains to Bob that this is important for the search. If it's true what happens to him, there's nothing you can do.]

And they were off. Off to find their new boss!

Huh? Kevin!

[They're sailing on a boat. But they're all exhausted.]

Huh?

[Bob is starving. Kevin turns to him, but he tells him he's hungry. Stuart It seemed to him.]

Huh? Banana!

Uh, Stuart?

Banana. Banana!

[He starts licking him.]

Ugh! Ugh! Stuart!

Stopa!

But Kevin will be disgusted. And he starts hitting Stewart several times. Bob is still hungry. And he starts sucking on Kevin's head

Uh, Bob! Stopa!

Huh? Oh!

Bob!

Huh?

Uh, no, no.

No, no. No, no, no.

Profiterole.

No, no, no!

Stuart...

Ah!

Oh, look at that one!

Whoa!

Peace!

Make love, not war!

Peace and love!

Boo-ya!

Boo-ya! Boo-ya!

Hey, hey, hey, oh.

Kashmiri?

- Boo-ya!

- Boo-ya! Boo-ya!

Oh.

Banana!

- Hey! Hey, taxi!

- Hey! Hey!

Oh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Banana! Hey, hey!

Stuart! Hey, oh!

Kevin!

Bob!

Oh. Bello!

Bob!

Huh? Oh.

Ah! Bob!

Huh? Whoa!

Women's bell bottoms

and tie-dye shirts marked down.

Check out our wide selection

of go-go boots and miniskirts.

Bob!

Okay.

Huh?

Bob!

The store is now closing.

Hey, what are you doing?

Bob!

Give me that!

Kevin!

Oh. Oh.

Ah.

Huh?

Oh.

Oh. Hey!

...buddies.

No? Oh.

Bob! Bob!

Oh.

Oh.

Tim.

Oh!

Me Tim!

Mmm, thank you! Hmm?

...Stuart?

Uh, nah.

Okay, okay.

Oh. "Dating game."

Okay.

And welcome back

to The Dating Game!

Well, Jennifer...

...have you decided

which of these three gentlemen

you'll go on a date with?

Is it Bob?

Yeah! Go, Bob!

Kevin?

Kevin!

Or will it be Stuart?

Oh. Yo, Stuart!

Gosh! This is so hard!

They all sounded so cute.

Um, I think I'm gonna go with...

Stuart.

VNC!

You're watching the top-secret

Villain Network Channel.

If you tell anyone,

we'll find you.

Huh!

Sponsored by Villain-Con,

for 89 years straight,

the biggest

gathering of criminals anywhere!

Big boss.

Attend guest lectures

from esteemed villains,

make contacts in

the underworld community,

and for the first time anywhere,

Scarlet Overkill!

Evil.

So evil.

Criminal genius!

Hey, a girl's gotta

make a living!

- Move aside, men!

- Make way.

There's a new bad man in

town... SCARLET:

Excuse me.

...and that man is a woman!

Crime isn't pretty!

It's red hot!

Get to Villain-Con

this weekend.

Only at 545 Orange Grove Avenue in Orlando,

Florida.

So much fun, it's a crime.

Oh! Villain-Con, Orlando.

Whoo-hoo!

Bello! Uh, Orlando?

Ugh.

- Hey, uh...

- Orlando?

Oh, hello.

Orlando?

Uh-huh. Ah, okay.

Thank you, baby! Bye-bye!

Ah.

Orlando!

Hey, Stuart...

Oh, yeah! Far out!

Love is the way, brother!

Ah!

Eh, no, no, no, no, no, Kevin.

Hmm.

Hey! Stopa! Stopa! Stopa!

Stopa! Ugh!

Stuart...

Oh...

Oh, Walter, look!

These adorable little freaks

are headed to Orlando, too!

Yeah, I see that!

Hey, Walter Junior!

What's happenin'?

Tina.

Hi!

Binky.

Mmm, mmm.

What do you say we give

these fellows a ride?

Yay! New friends!

All aboard the Nelson Express!

You, one-eye!

You're sitting next to me!

Okay.

Stuart!

Glad we came along before

some weirdos picked you up!

Who wants apple slices?

Ah, ah! Ooh, ooh!

Oh, you, too!

Growing boy-like creatures

need their strength.

Okay.

Heck, yeah!

Thanks, man!

All righty! Who needs

to stretch their legs?

Yeah!

Yes! Me, me, me!

Sweet!

You guys wait here, we'll be right back.

Okay, Nelsons, let's do this!

Go, go, go!

Okey-dokey. On the road again.

Dad! We got company!

It's because I tripped

the alarm. I stink!

Hey, we all make mistakes, sugarplum.

You're still learning.

Huh! What?

- Your father's right, Tina.

- Reload!

He wasn't this good

at being evil overnight!

Reload!

Your time's coming.

It's jammed!

Huh?

Okay, who did that?

- Uh... Stuart!

- Huh?

That was great!

Thank you!

Say, fellas,

can we get personal for just a second?

Why are you going to Orlando?

Come on. You can tell us.

You're going to Villain-Con, aren't you?

Villain-Con.

Villain-Con.

Wow! So many bad guys

in the car. What fun!

I knew it! I knew you were villains!

Didn't I, honey?

What a small world!

Hope we're not in rival gangs.

Binky! Joke!

Babies, huh?

Yay.

Big boss!

When we get to Orlando,

I'm gonna get all my favorite

villains to sign my magazine!

Dumo the Sumo!

Boss!

Oh, Kevin, you don't wanna work for him!

He ate his last henchmen!

Uh...

Frankie Fish Lips.

He lives in the ocean.

Boss?

Oh...

Can you breathe underwater?

Uh, so-so.

Oh, oh, oh!

Look at her!

Scarlet Overkill!

The coolest super-villain,

like, ever!

She started out as your average

little girl, braces, pigtails.

But by the time she was 13,

she built a criminal empire!

If I was a Minion,

that's who I'd want to work for!

Oh.

Here we are!

Beautiful Orlando!

Yeah! We're here!

Orlando!

Hey, gang, watch this!

Welcome to Billy

Bob's Bait Shop. How can I help you?

Yeah, hi.

Uh...

We're here for, uh,

so much fun, it's a crime.

Whoo-hoo!

Villain-Con!

All right!

Here we go!

Well, this is it!

I wanna tell you, and I really mean this.

I really appreciate what you did

back there with the cops.

Really!

Dad!

It's Frankie Fish Lips!

I can smell him from here!

Junior!

Get my camera!

Good luck in there, boys!

I hope you find what

you're looking for!

Bye!

Villain-Con!

Yeah!

Villain-Con!

Whoo!

Okay!

Oh!

Any evil talents?

Not bad.

What about you?

Any evil talents?

Uh...

Bello! La, la, la!

La, la, la!

Eh?

That's not evil or a talent.

Bello!

Ha-ha!

No?

I'm sorry!

But I'm not looking for any more servants,

for I, Professor Flux,

have invented

the world's first time machine!

Every time I visit the future,

I bring my future self back to help me.

Hello!

Oh.

Move that over there,

Professor Flux from two weeks from now.

As you can see,

I don't need any help.

Oh, way to go, guys.

We killed the original!

Please!

Eh...

Villain-Con presents our keynote speaker,

Scarlet Overkill!

The world's first

female super-villain!

Appearing right now in Hall H!

Bob! Stuart! Buddies! Hey!

Buddies!

Scarlet?

Kevin!

Are you ready...

Yeah!

...for Scarlet Overkill!

Doesn't it feel

so good to be bad?

Scarlet! Scarlet!

Scarlet! Yes!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoa.

Whoo-hoo!

Awesome!

Yeah!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Wow! Thank you!

Scarlet!

Scarlet!

Thank you so much!

Okay.

Ah.

When I started out,

people said a woman

could never rob

a bank as well as a man!

Well, times change!

I love you, Scarlet!

Look at all those

faces out there!

We are all so different!

But we have one thing in common.

We were born with flippers!

No? Just me? Okay.

We have big dreams!

And we will do anything

to make them come true!

Have any of you ever dreamt

of working for the greatest

super-villain of all time?

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Well, what if I were to tell you

that I am looking

for new henchmen?

Hey, boss! Boss!

I truly believe

somewhere out there

is a villain with the

potential to serve greatness!

And it could be any of you.

Whoa!

Although,

let's not kid ourselves.

Truly, the only men for this

job are Kevin and his Minions!

- Huh? But... But...

- Ten times the evil

in half the package!

I am just in awe!

Let's hear it for Kevin.

He saved his tribe!

Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!

Kevin! Kevin!

Kevin... Hey! Kevin. Hey. Hey!

Argh!

So, how should we

do this? Hmm.

Oh.

You see this

tiny little trinket?

Well, just take it from my hand

and you've got the job.

No big deal,

it's almost too simple.

Uh...

Oh, come on!

Don't be afraid.

Just take the stone and get that job!

Come on!

Oh, okay.

...Boss!

That job is mine!

Ooh!

Now go easy on me.

Whoops!

Love the costume!

Ha!

Uh...

So cool!

Tim? Tim!

Uh...

Oh, no, Bob!

Ah! Tim! Tim!

Is no one good enough?

Bob!

I got it!

I got it!

Ah!

Didn't my speech inspire anyone

to rise up and

prove themselves worthy?

All these villains and

yet I still have the bear.

Stuffed bear!

Why am I holding a bear?

Who has the ruby?

Wow! Who...

Who are you, my knights in shining denim?

...Stuart.

...Bob.

Minions!

That was incredible!

Behold! The last

creatures you'd expect

to win the day have emerged victorious!

- Everyone, meet my new henchmen.

- The Minions!

Kumbaya!

Kumbaya! Kumbaya!

Kumbaya!

Hey! I know those guys!

I gave them a ride here!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Buckle up, boys!

Next stop, England.

Oh...

Bello?

Hey, Kevin! Eh?

Boss? In England?

Nah, Boss!

Ah, uh... Bello, Kevin?

...England?

- Uh-huh.

- ...Boss?

Scarlet Popapil. Ah.

- Bello? Bello!

- Bello?

Oh!

Wow!

Ah!

Here we go! There.

By the way,

I really like your bear.

Herb! My baby!

You know I am!

How'd it go?

Were you evil?

So evil!

Oh!

A little bird dropped

this off today.

It's me,

I'm the "H."

Also, there was no bird.

Also me.

Herb, seriously,

I wanna dig up that William Shakespeare

so he can see

what true writing is.

I love it!

Ah, that works out because I love...

Well, I love... too.

Ah, the love, ah!

Oh! Oh, ah.

Oh, boys,

could you come here, please?

Meet my husband, Herb.

Inventor, super genius, fox.

Herb, these are

the new recruits.

Kevin, Stuart, and that

cute little one is Bob.

Hey, bello!

Right on!

You guys are crazy little and way yellow,

and I dig that!

Sweet, man!

Ah, ah.

Whoa!

I know, right?

Ah!

Just a few things I

stole to help fill the void.

Whoa!

...mega ukulele!

Checkin' out my can?

We stole that

because finally someone

expressed my love of

soup in painting form.

Wow!

Ooh!

Okay, listen up!

It is time to get down to business.

Do you know who this is?

Uh...

This is Queen Elizabeth,

ruler of England.

Oh, I love England.

The music, the fashion.

I'm seriously thinking about

overthrowing it someday.

Ooh!

Anyway,

this pale drink of water oversees it all.

I'm her biggest fan,

love her work!

And I really, really,

really want her crown.

Steal me the crown

and all your dreams come true.

Respect! Power!

Banana!

Banana!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Ha!

Henry!

...England. Uh...

...England...

Oh, uh...

Hmm.

Heh.

- Wow!

- Whoa.

Ooh-la-la.

No!

Oh, no.

Don't get too close, boys.

When it's completed,

it'll be my ultimate weapon.

But right now, it's leaking radiation

like you would not believe!

So, you're here for gear.

Whoa!

Bob, Robert, Bobby, my boy.

You get

my far-out stretch suit.

Wow!

Kevin, Kev-bo,

Seventh Kevin,

you are the proud owner

of my lava lamp gun.

Ah?

This baby shoots actual lava!

Ooh!

Pretty cool, right?

And finally, Stu. Stu-art,

Stu-perman, Beef Stu.

I got you the coolest invention,

probably ever.

Oh.

Hypno-hat!

Uh, oh.

Uh...

You can use it to

hypnotize anyone. Anyone!

Oh, you look so great!

I feel like a proud mama

with three

dashing evil sons.

Uh, Scarlet, Scarlet...

No, no. Don't say anything.

I won't understand.

It's getting late. You've had a

big day, you must be exhausted!

Boing, boing, boing,

boing, boing...

Wow! These cats

are pumped!

Well, maybe I'll settle them

down with a bedtime story?

Ha-ha!

How does that sound, Bob?

Bob. Bob! Bob!

Oh! Bedtime porry?

That is a groovy idea!

I'll go get some cookies and warm milk.

This is gonna be so fun!

...bedtime porry.

Oh, yes, I've got a really,

really good bedtime porry.

Once upon a time,

there were three little pigs.

One fateful day, the pigs

encountered a big, bad wolf...

...who had a wonderful

surprise for them!

The wolf offered the three

piggies and all their friends

a job working for her.

Everyone would be so happy!

All the three

little piggies had to do

was just steal one little crown

that the beautiful wolf

had wanted

ever since she was

a penniless little street cub,

unloved and abandoned.

But that crown would mean

she was a princess,

and everybody loves a princess!

So the wolf sent the piggies

to get that crown.

But the little pigs

weren't up to the challenge.

They failed their mission.

So the wolf huffed and puffed, and she

blew them off the face of the earth!

Yo, po, po!

The end.

Good luck getting that crown tomorrow,

little piggies.

I know you won't disappoint me.

Um.

Okay.

...Scarlet.

Which way is the loo, please?

Hmm.

Oh, thank you.

Ah.

Bello.

- Uh...

- ...please.

You're not allowed in without an adult.

Scram, hooligans!

Oh.

Uh, mm.

Ooh...

Oh, la...

Stuart...

How many tickets, please?

...please.

...please.

Enjoy yourself, love.

Thank you!

It was nowhere near Hyde Park!

Bob's your uncle.

Huh, hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

Huh? Ah!

He-hey.

Okay.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

This is a restricted area!

Hands in the air!

No...

Stop that!

Get back.

Yay!

Ah!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Bob, Stuart...

So...

So, you came for

the Queen's crown, did you?

Well, you're gonna

have to get through me!

The Keeper of the Crown!

Ow! Hey!

You think it's funny to mock the elderly,

do you?

Uh...

I've been up here for decades,

just waiting for someone to try

and steal the Queen's treasure!

Okay.

What are you saying?

Never mind, don't care!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, you don't!

Oh, flippin' heck!

What's goin' on?

Bob...

Eh... Hmm.

Wow.

Hello!

Huh?

Hello!

Stone the crows!

Stop him, lads!

Wait!

Go for the legs!

Gordon Bennett!

Kevin!

The Queen's

been kidnapped, Sarge!

Blimey!

Hyah! Hyah!

Ooh!

Ha! Boo-ya!

Huh. Hyah! Hyah!

What's going on?

Bello!

Oh, my goodness!

- Whoa!

- Ha-ha!

No!

Gentlemen do not steal ladies' crowns!

Huh? Hmm?

Huh?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh, dear!

Ah! Ahhh!

Yeah!

You scoundrel!

After them! Uh-oh.

Stop the blighter!

Go on, grab him!

Huh?

Huh? Oh.

Cor, blimey!

One of England's most famous

myths has become a reality

as a new king has been crowned.

Bob, who appears to be

a bald, jaundiced child,

has pulled the famed sword

right from its stone,

which, legend dictates,

makes him the new king.

Tiny yellow traitor!

England!

England! England!

England!

England! England!

England! England...

Ha, ha!

Bello!

Bello!

Cut!

Hey, Bob.

Hello, King Bob.

Uh...

Welcome to Buckingham Palace.

Uh, no.

Oh, what's the matter,

Your Majesty?

Whatever's bothering you,

we can make it right.

Just name it!

Oh.

Buddies!

Buddies! Buddies!

Buddies!

Oh.

Uh...

King Bob!

Long live the king!

King Bob!

...Bob...

...King...

So...

King Bob!

The crowd rejoices again, he drops the microphone, leaves the balcony. Finally, they begin to enjoy life in Buckingham Palace.

Oh... Yeah!

King Bob! Wait!

- Wow!

- Whoa!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh...

A royal adviser notices King Bob riding the stairs at Buckingham Palace.

Yee-haw!

King Bob!

Kevin, Sits on a Corgi playing polo at Buckingham Palace.

Hyah!

plays polo, rides a Corgi. Kevin: YAKITORI! Corgi howls and jumps and barks, along with Kevin, escape from the frame, a group of athletes polo players, also plays with him, corgis run after them, running across the room. One of the Athletes dragging corgi on the floor.

Hmm? Huh! Ah!

Yes, King Bob. Oh.

King Bob?

King Bob?

Ah, Claire.

Mmm, Tiffany.

Rawr!

Kisses them. In one of the comedians at Buckingham Palace, the artist paints him a portrait of King Bob, Stewart plays his guitar, Kevin plays cricket with the royal Corgi.

Ball!

[Kevin throws the ball through the door for the corgi. Scarlet appears, with a huge gun.]

How dare you!

[The ball hits her in the eye, Corgi also attacks, stands up, seething with anger, she holds corgi, which she licks in his face. Scarlet abandons the Corgi, the artist leaves the room, the corgi cries]

Scarlet!

Don't you "Scarlet" me,

you backstabbing little traitors!

Using Herb's invention

to steal my crown?

I feel used.

Not gonna lie.

You stole my dream!

I was going to conquer England someday!

There was gonna be a coronation,

and I was going

to be made Queen.

Every moment was planned.

I'd wear a dress so sparkly,

it glowed!

And everyone who ever doubted

me would be watching,

and they would be crying!

I was going to be the picture

of elegance and class!

And you pinheads screwed it up!

No, no, no!

No, no, no, King Bob!

You cannot just abdicate the throne!

Who invited the square?

And you definitely cannot just

give the job to this woman!

There are laws!

Boss.

...Boss.

...Scarlet Popapil!

King Bob has

officially changed the law,

clearing the way

for Scarlet Overkill

to be crowned Queen of England!

She will be coronated at London's

historic Westminster Abbey.

If I wasn't so polite, I'd say this

spells certain doom for the country,

if not the world.

But I'm so very polite that

I shall keep my mouth shut.

But, seriously,

we're all in big trouble.

Scarlet! Scarlet!

I don't have time

to answer any questions.

I just want to thank the Minions

for going above and

beyond the call of duty.

You are three tiny, golden...

...pill-shaped

miracle workers,

and you have stolen not

just England but my heart.

Scarlet, over here!

Pardon me?

Eh?

Wow! So many!

Good for you!

Well, you'll all

get what you deserve.

Serve!

...serve!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh.

Go ahead, go ahead.

Uh...

Uh...

I don't want you to take this

the wrong way, but I hate you.

I thought I could get over what you did,

but I feel so betrayed.

I think...

Yes, I think we're gonna have to break up.

And it's not you.

Wait, hold on.

It is you. It's 100% you!

No, no.

So get comfortable, Minions.

Get real, real comfortable.

Because this is where

you're going to spend

the rest of your

worthless little lives.

All right!

Let's do this!

Herb!

Who's this

handsome "Herb" fella?

No, my name is "Blerb."

I'm a dungeon master.

Prepare for torture, which I do!

All right, are we comfy?

Doesn't matter! This is torture!

- Huh.

- Oh.

Wow! Harder than I thought.

Next machine!

Oh, welcome to Hang Town!

Population, you!

Oh.

Whoo-hoo!

Cut it out! This is

really unprofessional!

There's no laughing

in the dungeon!

I wanna see tears and

I wanna hear screams,

or I'm gonna get... Wait!

Hey!

Ooh! I've got a groovy idea!

Ah!

Look at this!

Argh!

Hello!

Will the future king, Herb Overkill,

please come upstairs

to prepare for the coronation?

Well, I hope you learned

your lesson for today.

And by the way, it was me,

Herb, the whole time!

I don't even know

anyone named "Blerb"!

Uh, Herb...

Oh. Huh.

I am hours away from becoming

the Queen of England!

I know! It's a gas!

I will finally get my crown.

Yeah.

It's all I've ever wanted.

I'm going to be so happy.

But let me ask you

something, Fabrice.

Does that look like this to you?

Mrs. Overkill, the hair in that picture,

it's just two wavy lines!

Oh, so, what,

now you're an art critic?

I drew that when I was five years old!

Get out of my sight!

Bye, Fabrice!

I liked him. He was fun.

So, what do you

think of the dress?

Oh, it's so beautiful.

So fashion-forward. So Valentino.

Gave it a sweetheart neckline

because you're my sweetheart.

The high collar

and cinched waist

reflect a simpler,

more violent time.

The material is a blend of taffeta

and high-density body armor.

Fully armed and loaded.

And that glow, that's nuclear.

Nice. Just one more

thing to do.

Gotta look good for the public.

Ugh.

Do you mind?

My pleasure.

Little tighter, sweetie.

Come on, I can take it.

Little tighter.

Tighter!

Must have tiny waist.

Seeing stars, seeing stars!

Losing feeling in my legs. Perfect!

Tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it.

Huh?

Ah. Bob! Stuart!

Eh?

- Ooh! Bello!

- Ooh-ooh!

Ah! Oh.

Ah.

Huh!

Ah.

- Eh, eh, Kevin...

- ...Scarlet.

Ah!

"Porry Scarlet."

- He, he!

- ...Boss.

Oh.

Ah, okay!

Huh?

I love you, Scarlet!

Queen wave, queen wave!

Queen waving!

- I am so, so excited!

- This is perfect!

Everyone looks so nice!

Oh! Oh, you are just adorable!

Oh, yes!

And that music, oh!

Who is that organist? She is good!

Right? She looks like an Edna.

Edna, you are very good!

Who was that? Whoa!

Thanks for doing this, padre.

Big fan. Uh-huh.

Come here, let me squeeze you!

Oh, you are so squishy!

...Scarlet.

Go, go, Go!

Ouch! Ouch!

...sayonara!

Ciao...

Bob...

Stuart!

Aww! Oo-ooh!

Okay!

Oh! Beh...

Will you to your power

cause law and justice...

...Popapil!

Oh!

Ah...

Hmm? Ah...

Huh? Uh... Uh...

Stopa!

Bah!

In mercy...

No, no, no!

Do you, Scarlet Overkill...

Yeah!

Huh? Oh?

No!

Uh, mmm...

...Bob.

I proclaim thee,

Scarlet Overkill,

the Queen of England!

Oh! Huh?

Kevin!

Huh?

Scarlet! Scarlet,

my queen?

Somebody help me!

Come on, come on!

Lift on two. One, two!

One, two!

Huh?

Scarlet! You're okay!

He tried to kill me!

Uh, no...

Villains, this is no longer a coronation!

It is an execution!

Get them!

Whoa, Nelly!

Run, fellas, run!

Come back here, you!

Ah!

Uh?

Hyah!

Aah!

You're mine!

Stuart, Bob! Uh...

Oops!

Oh!

Hey! I got one!

Tim!

Huh?

Oh? Aww! Oh!

Uh? Eh?

Tim!

Stuart! Bob!

Buddies!

Mind the gap.

Mind the gap.

Mind the gap!

Mind the gap! Mind the gap!

Mind the gap.

Mind the gap!

He won't get away!

He won't escape us!

Huh?

What about this one?

Why did the queen go to the dentist?

To get her teeth crowned.

Heh!

Tell us another one, Lizzy!

Uh, uh...

- Bello!

- Oh!

It's you.

Everyone, this is one

of the little fellows

who stole the monarchy from me.

And how's that

working out for you?

Uh, Scarlet...

Oh, yes, yes, I saw what

was going on on the telly.

Uh, telly?

What was meant to

be the coronation of

Scarlet Overkill has

gone terribly wrong as...

Move!

Kevin, Kevin,

I know you're out there.

You think you've gotten away?

Well, what do we have here?

Bello!

Oh, my goodness!

Bob? Stuart?

Which one shall I kill first?

Little Bob? Stuart?

Bob! Stuart!

I will do it, Kevin,

if you are not back here by dawn!

Oh, my!

No!

...buddies!

...Scarlet.

There he is!

Follow me!

Ah! Ha-haa!

Who the man, eh?

Uh... Oh!

Oh.

Harder! It's just my head.

Oh, no!

This way! Let's get him!

Go, go, go!

No!

Huh?

Oh.

Huh?

Ultimate weapon initiated.

Activation in three, two, one.

Bello.

Huh?

...buddies!

This is it, boys!

Things do not look good for you.

Oh, and I'm keeping the bear.

Tim!

You're not gonna need him

where you're going.

Heaven.

Huh? Uh... Aah!

Shoosh, shoosh,

shoosh, shoosh! Oh!

Huh? Ah!

Bye-bye. Say bye-bye,

Bob. Bye-bye!

Huh?

Oh, whoa!

Wait, what? How did he...

Hold my bear.

Huh?

Yippee! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Kevin!

So, that's your plan?

Make yourself a bigger target?

Huh?

K-K-Kevin? Hey!

...Kevin!

Whoa!

Ow!

And so help me,

I never wanna see another one of

your goofy, bug-eyed

faces ever again!

Scarlet!

Scarlet! Scarlet! What?

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!

Oh no, you don't!

Whoa!

And just for the record,

my little deviled eggs,

you can thank Kevin for what

I'm about to do to you!

Ow! Ow!

Bob!

Stuart! Buddies!

Tony!

Tom!

Chris!

You the man!

Buddies! Mazel tov.

Ugh! Ew!

Ooh! Aah! Kevin! Kevin!

Enough! This ends now!

Kevin!

You imbecile!

Have fun exploding!

Baby!

What's the rush?

Got to get out of here!

Let us go!

No, no, no, no!

Kevin!

Kevin...

Huh?

Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo!

Ooh!

Stuart?

Hmm.

Bob?

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are here today to celebrate the Minions!

[The crowd rejoices, the Athletes in the game polo corgi, stand and hold their corgis dogs, The corgis are breathing, one of the players is holding the Corgi incorrectly. One of the minions rejoices, one of the Royal's corgis licks his tongue. And he spits. Corgi continues to breathe.]

Huh!

The country owes you

a great debt of gratitude.

Bob, you were a wise and noble

king for all of eight hours.

So for you, I offer this tiny

crown for your teddy bear, Tim.

Oh, very good, Bob!

Oh, spectacular!

I'm so proud of you boys!

Oh, Stuart.

For you, I have this beautiful,

super-duper, incredible...

Ah!

...snow globe!

Eh? Poglobe?

Uh, ze...

And look, look,

hours of excitement!

Oh, uh...

Yippee.

Uh, eh, gracias.

Stuart, we're just

messing with you!

Don't be mad at me,

it was Kevin's idea.

Kevin!

We have a much

better surprise for you!

...super mega ukulele!

Uh... Wow!

...poglobe.

Thank you.

Right. Uh...

And finally, Kevin!

You are a hero of

the highest order.

For your bravery and valor,

I am knighting you.

From here on out,

you are Sir Kevin.

Well done.

What a beautiful moment!

Kumbaya!

Kumbaya!

The nation, nay, the world was

celebrating Kevin, Stuart and Bob.

The last few thousand years were rough,

no question,

but things were

finally going their way!

Kevin had never been more proud.

But something was missing.

Yes, good show, good show!

My crown is gone! It's gone!

Blimey!

She's lost the crown!

Oh, my days!

Scarlet?

Scarlet! Hey!

...Scarlet! Hey!

They took everything from me!

My castle! My reputation!

Things look bleak,

baby, I'm not gonna lie!

But now at least

I have my crown!

Child, give me that back.

No, I don't think so!

You have no idea who

you're messing with!

I am the greatest

super-villain of all time!

Oh!

Were you?

B... B... Buddies...

Ah!

...Boss! Ha, ha!

Get back! Are you really going

to allow that little penguin

to make off with my crown?

Herb.

I'm done.

For me?

Bye-bye!

Big boss!

And that is how the Minions found their new boss.

He was cunning, he was evil, he was perfect.

He was despicable.

In the post-credits scene. Cm. Revolution