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Afganistan is a fictional nation located within Afghanistan. It is well known for being the "international home of ghouls". No human has died there, with the exeption of Antonio Perez, who had gone MIA following his disployment under the US Military and was declared dead. Any Minion that steps foot into Afganistan is instatly melted by the microwave radiation that emits from the land itself. This is due to their anti-minion laws, set in place after the failures of Gru's Big Heist, casualites are still being reported though estimates are in the thousands. I've never been there, as alas it is fictional, but one can dream. I pray every night that when I slumber, I would awake to a better world, a fair world.

The land was a promient feature in Minions: Rise of Dru and the Minion Rush DLC character packs Blood Money and Man's Incessant Folly

History[]

In 1983, Dru Gru was left for dead, in a hiest to steal maybe a bagful of sand gone wrong, in the harsh desert of Afghanistan. He had set up camp with the few supplies he had on him, and fought off anyone that came his way. He slowly built himself his territory with sand, where he lived for many years. He had build many services out of sand, including

  • public libaries - filled with books, also made from sand
  • post office - used to send letters back home
  • fast food locations - the food was sand
  • cemetary - filled with real corpses, their idenities still go unknown. The headstones were made of sand though aha!

Due to a mispelling in a letter back to his cousin Nebula "The Crimson Thumb" Gru, he was said to be located in "Afganistan". Too stuborn to admit an error he declared Afganistan his own land. In a letter declaring this, the address was misspelt and it was sent to The United Nations (UN). The UN, being partictally bored that day, decide to let Dru have the land.

The first big boom in population growth was the crash of a commercial plane, and after the passengers were frighten by the incredibly detailed buildings made from sand, decided to stay. The population grew to surpass that of the real Afghanistan. This was due to Dru creating a clone machine made of sand, made accidentally when trying to contruct a working sand toilet (not a toilet made of sand, but a toilet for flushing sand into the sand sewer (not a sewer for sand, but a sewer made of sand)).

Gru's Big Heist[]

Felonius Gru, Dru's secret lover, had other plans. In a copycat effort to replicate Dru's orignal Sand Heist, although stealing much more sand and any dirt if he came across it. Not even God could save the residents of this nation. After equiping each Minion with a bomb strapped to their chest and a bag, he let them into the nation. The Minions, unable to fully understand how a bomb works, were detonating themselves left right and center. The casualities were in the ones, maybe thousands. I'm not sure as Minions can't count and if they could I wouldn't understand them nor make any attempt to. One Minion went off-script, and attempted to smuggle a water gun in. They were stopped by border control, as water would be devestating to the sand infutructure. But due to this distraction, the mustard gas went completely unnoticed. This was directly against Gru's strict rule against mustard gas, incase Vince Vaughn ever got in the crossfire. Thankfully, due to poor aiming, there was only one victim to the gas, being Vince Vaught the Viscous Victor. He was hidden behind sand rubble, attempting to sneak attack the minion. Alas, we never found out why he his called the Viscous Victor. Whenever he was asked by reporters about the title, he was known to throw a smoke bomb and disapear. After this tragedy, Gru fell into a depression. Not for the civilians, but because he liked Wedding Crashers. This leads to him trying to find his happiness in the one thing he holds near and dear to his heart, the Moon. This leads directly into Despicable Me. During this, Dru was unconscious in the Vaughn Pod, a Dru-shaped hole in the sand named in Vince Vaughn's honour. He was completely unable to leave for the rest of the week, being completely unaware of the bloodbath above him. Eventually he sunk so far down until he wasn't seen until the events of Despicable Me 3. When he awaked he had no memory of Afganistan and of his brother.

Life Post-Heist[]

Life was never the same after Gru's Big Heist. The civilians were lost without their leader. One brave man stood to lead them. That man? The Once-ler played by the late Vince Vaughn (not the character). This leads directly into the events of The Lorax.

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