Despicable Me Wiki
(The film opens on a mountain view. Pan down to see Gru driving to Lyćee Pas Bon Villainy School as Double Life by Pharrell Williams plays. Once there, he steps out of the car, closing the door. A tinier version of the car with Phil, Ralph, and Ron inside drives up to the venue. They get stuck as they try to get out, and the car topples over.)
Gru: Phil, Ron, Ralph, stay focused!
Minions: Okeh, okeh. (they get behind the car to change into their AVL suits.)
Gru: Okay. Our target is Maxime Le Mal, one of the Anti Villain League's most-wanted. And trust me, he's a real jerk. So, there is no room for error. Got it?
Minions: Si, boss! (they enter the school alongside Gru)
Ralph: Phil, Ron! Looka! Looka! OH! Comeh! Comeh! Jello!
(They find a big jello on a table, and Ralph gets Ron and Phil to try & feed it to him. Unfortunately, he gets trapped in the jello as his 2 companions eat it while he is still inside.)
Ron: Bueno!
(Gru eventually finds Maxime chatting with some villains.)
Maxime: Kids can be so cruel, but Maxime can be even crueler! (chuckles as he sees Gru amongst the crowd) Well, well, well. Look who it is. If it isn't Gruser the loser!
Gru: Well, if it isn't Maxime Le Mal! You look...
Maxime: Magnificent? Yes, I know. What did you think, huh? I was going to look like a bald loser with a dad bod? Oops! Looks like you beat me to it, no? (he and all the other villains laugh at the his joke) It's good to laugh, no? Anyway, you remember my girlfriend, Valentina? She was captain of the femme fatale gym squad and the most popular girl at school, huh?
Gru: I remember. Good to see you Valentina.
Valentina: Hmph.
Maxime: What happened, Gru? All your dreams of becoming a famous villain? They go... poof-poof? Huh?
Gru: I don't know if you know, but I did manage to steal the moon.
Maxime: Really? You mean... that moon? (points to the moon as everyone continues to laugh)
Principal Übelschlecht: (checks the mic feedback) Is this on? Can I have everyone's attention please? Good evening and welcome, Lycee Pas Bon alumni. Now we're going to kick off the festivities by announcing the winner of the most coveted reward, the golden alumni! And so, without further ado, the winner of this year's golden alumni is... uhh... Oh! My favorite student. Maxime Le Mal!
Gru: What, are you kidding me?!
Maxime: (gets up onstage to receive the award) Oh, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sure you will know that I have something very big in the works. Now, some of you laughed at my childhood obsession with insects. But I quickly learned that they are a miracle of evolution. (shows a cockroach on his hand) And I've found the way to harness the strength and the speed, and the.. what is the word? Adaptability of the most powerful creature on the planet, which makes me indestructible and unstoppable!
(Maxime destroys the lectern and rips his king outfit as he reveals his cockroach form. Phil and Ron whip out anti-pest material.)
Crowd: Maxime! Maxime! Maxime! Maxime!
Maxime: Behold, the power of the insect! (Ralph tries ripping off his suit, only to reveal his banana underwear as Maxime directs his attention to Gru) So my sad little friend, what do you say about that, huh?
Gru: Well, I'd say... you're under arrest, courtesy of the Anti Villain League!
Maxime: (laughs) I don't think so, mon ami.
Gru; Oh yeah? Goo grenade! (Maxime repeatedly breaks out of the goo during each blast, prompting him to call reinforcements) Move it!
(AVL reinforcements burst into the venue.)
AVL agents: AVL! Stay where you are! Move, move, move!
AVL agent: Freeze!
(As the AVL agents try to get Maxime restrained, all their efforts prove to be futile as the villain proves himself stronger.)
Gru: (tazes Maxime) Gotcha. (the AVL agents pick up Maxime & sends him away as Gru picks up his award) So long Maxime. Who's the loser now?
Minions: Loser, loser!
(Maxime breaks free & charges at Gru, cutting off the head of what was once his award before being restrained again)
Maxime: (screams) This is not over! You won't always have the AVL to fight your back you coward! Mark my words. I will exterminate you!
Gru: (notices the slight blood on his face) What... not uhh... Not scary at all. (cue the title card as he returns home and enters the house with some grocery supplies) Hello, everybody!
Margo: Gru! Whats up?
Edith: Hey Gru!
Agnes: So happy you're here!